Mother’s Love is the Key to Success

 Christian Roach

04/29/25

African American Literature 

Major Project Assignment 

Mother’s Love is the Key to Success

  Unconditional love is one of the most important things a mother can give to their child. Love not only reinforces positive behavior, but also builds a sense of safety within the child. Love is so important for a child’s development, but what if love is absent? What if a parent cannot simply show love? These questions dramatically change how we think and feel when it comes to a mother and son during the Civil Rights movement. During this time, love was almost non-existent and showing it was even rarer, which for a lot of mothers and sons caused either very diverse reactions depending on their circumstance or how they responded to what they deemed to be a loving action.

During the Civil Rights movement, many African Americans felt a lack of love through the difficult times and could not simply love, which is detrimental to a child as they grow up. In Bell Hooks’ book Salvation: Black People and Love, she puts an emphasis on the motherly role and how women remained a beacon of love in their household, despite their situations. Tragically, this doesn't mean that all women were this beacon of hope and some were quite the opposite. Hooks writes,”I want to place a spotlight on black single mothers to talk about the concrete practice of a love ethic in black life because there is so much evidence to document that this group, more than any other, against all odds has created a space of love within the home” (hooks 115). Mothers have an aura of love they seem to exude to their child, but due to unloving husbands, this isn’t always the case. She writes,”To avoid pain, females often turned to substance abuse and to psychic self-mutilation by disconnecting and closing the door to their hearts” (hooks 109-110).These mothers lock their love away, creating almost a void in their hearts and leave their children begging for anything. Both quotes give an idea of both types of mothers but what do these love languages do to their children and how do they affect their children's way of loving others?

A mothers love has deep psychological effects on their children. During the Civil rights movement, African American men tended to be very unloving to both women and children, causing children to latch on to their mothers for guidance. Mothers have a destined goal to lead their children and teach them about their thoughts and emotions. According to the book Mothers Love: Understanding Its Impact and Importance, “Scientific studies consistently highlight the positive impact of maternal love on cognitive, emotional, and social development. Children who receive consistent and nurturing care from their mothers tend to exhibit higher levels of emotional intelligence, empathy, and social competence” (EuroKids 30-33). With bell hooks philosophy, the mother’s love leads to two roads: loving and neglectful. The paths lead to drastically different outcomes and have lasting impacts on children.

Loving mothers typically allow children a safe space, which can help them emotionally process things and evolve their social skills by being able to talk through difficult times. A safe and loving environment allows a child to emotionally mature and teaches them that emotions are good and how to learn from them. This increases the child's ability to process and increases cognitive ability in social settings. In another setting, it provides a stable anchor allowing essentially a safety net that a child could fall back on. According to EuroKids, “Whether it’s dealing with a child’s illness, academic struggles, or behavioral issues, a mother’s unwavering love and support provide a stabilizing force.” This excerpt essentially reinforces the importance of this love in a more physical aspect rather than just a psychological aspect. With the time period and the harsh nature of the Civil Rights Movement, this was pivotal for most young African American boys trying to learn in what was essentially a new world. 

Unloving mothers or “cold mothers” cause an unsafe environment, which is when a mother is physically present but not emotionally. This parenting method teaches kids to silence their emotions and causes their ability to empathise and connect to be severely limited. According to Alexis Cates article,”Cold Mother Syndrome: What it Is, Effects, & How to Cope”,”... A cold mother is often physically present. However, beyond the physical presence, there is little to no emotional connection from mother to child.” This quote provides a quick idea of the lonely devoid nature a cold mother provides emotionally. These mothers don't allow the emotional maturity they should get and also limits their social abilities in the long run. Most African American boys resorted to crime or act out as a plea for some kind of love or relationship, worsening their ability to grow in the correct way.

With the Parenting styles mentioned previously, this leaves many different behaviors in the future. Many of our mannerisms are defined from a young age and enhance our personalities depending on how we are raised. For instance, a kid brought up in a very close and family-oriented family typically has goals for achieving that type of family. In the same instance, kids brought up being distant tend to have very few goals in achieving this kind of family. Many different sources explain the drastic difference between the outcome of children of both loving and unloving mothers with statistical proof behind these studies.

Loving mothers, who have a warm and loving parenting style, statistically have more well-oriented children with both themselves and others. In an excerpt from a Harvard study called “Motherhood, Parenting Styles”, “A warm mother is a woman who regularly supports her children, consistently affirms them, and speaks to them in a friendly tone, according to Everyday Psych. A Harvard study that followed hundreds of men for over 70 years found that men who had a “warm” relationship with their mothers were considered happier and more successful.”(IMOM 1-4) This excerpt proves that the effect of being more loving helps boost a child's ability to implement into society and also succeed in academics and goals. With the time of the civil rights movement, this style of parenting left a highly educated and well-adapted young man, which strengthened the bond between African Americans and also helped spread more love and success.

Unloving mothers have a drastically negative effect on their children. Most unloving mothers don't allow children to grow emotionally, almost stagnating their ability to properly integrate into society like they should. Taking an excerpt from Terri Cole’s,”How Mean Mothers Impact Self Love”, “If a mother is unable to stay lovingly connected to her child with attention, affection and care, there are emotional consequences such as isolation, disease to please, lack of confidence, and repeating reality”(Cole 7-11). This quote labels a few of the negative traits many children of mean mothers have and the life long stagnation they have when trying to implement into society. This usually left many social and behavioral problems, leaving both a negative current life and a very bad future parent to their children and an unloving person in society.

In conclusion, for African American mothers and sons, it is detrimentally important for them to have a loving nurturing relationship. This leaves positive traits as a child and will lead them down a path of love and success. The other path leads down a path of unsuccess and trauma, really limiting young men's ability to merge with society and find success. Young rely heavily on their moms and need them to learn how to love because from the moment they are born the first thing they need is love.

Work Cited Page

EuroKids. (2024, July 16). Mother’s Love: Lifelong impact on child development. https://www.eurokidsindia.com/blog/the-significance-and-impact-of-a-mothers-love-understanding-its-effects-and-importance.php#:~:text=Scientific%20studies%20consistently%20highlight%20the,%2C%20empathy%2C%20and%20social%20competence. 

Cate, A. A., Cate, A., & Fuller, K. (n.d.-a). Cold mother syndrome: What it is, effects, & how to cope. ChoosingTherapy.com. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/cold-mother-syndrome/ 

iMOM. (2024, July 31). Harvard study finds Warm Mothers have successful boys. https://www.imom.com/successful-boys/ 

Terri Cole. (2023, December 27). How mean mothers impact self-love. https://www.terricole.com/mean-mothers-impact-self-love/ 

hooks, bell. (2021). Salvation: Black people and love. William Morrow Paperbacks.